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50 second-best songs ever

rule: no two songs by the same artist. no order.
also, I tried to keep the repeated artists to a minimum (they're only in there if they really deserve it.)


51. the Horrors, Sea Within a Sea
A lot has been said about the Horrors, mostly about their hair and trousers, but I genuinely think they're a really great band. They remind me of the Manics, in a way, in how their influences are so fashionably-unfashionable. Or unfashionably-fashionable, I don't really know which. Every little thing about the Horrors screams they're passionate about their image and music, though, and I love that in a band.

52. Scott Walker, Rosemary
There are not enough words to describe Scott Walker, or this song. It's like a film playing out in your head, and he doesn't waste a single word. 'Swollen fingers pour antique cups of tea'? I get quite gushy about Scott Walker, which feels wrong because it's probably the last thing he'd want, but he's had such an amazing career. It's a shame most people can't see that.

53. Patrick Wolf, Pigeon Song
Hearing this song performed live in 2005, when I'd never heard of him, was one of the most special gig-experiences I've ever had. I love how careful his singing sounds, so delicate. This song makes me forget that pigeons are basically rats with wings.

54. the Carpenters, Solitaire
Linda Perry, of 4 Non Blondes- and Christina Aguilera-hit-songwriter-fame, said in a documentary on the Carpenters that Karen Carpenter had the most soulful voice she'd ever heard. Patsy Cline came close, but Karen Carpenter was where it's at. Now, I don't usually take my musical pointers from Linda, but she's so right about Karen. This song would be nauseatingly sappy (and it kind of is, still) if it hadn't been for Karen Carpenter's singing. There's this dark underlying emotion in her voice that just kills you. Plus, 'Yesterday Once More' is like the Smiths' 'Rubber Ring' without Morrissey's venom.

55. Gram Parsons, Brass Buttons
"it was a dream much too real to be leaned against too long". If you didn't know any better, this song could be taken as just another one of Gram's beautiful odes to one of the girls in his life. However, it's a song written about his mother who died of alcoholism when Gram was just a teenager and details like the golden pins in her hair and the brass buttons on her dress make it such a poignant tribute to his mother; an almost desperate bid to remember as much as he can about her.

56. Elvis Costello, Shipbuilding
Elvis Costello is definitely not one of my favourites, and I do prefer the Suede-version (I can't help it), but I'm glad Costello recognises that this is the best song he ever wrote. I love the imagery, in a way it's like what 'The River' would have sounded like if Bruce Springsteen had been born in England.

57. Foals, Big Big Love Fig. 2
'Math rock' sucks but Antidotes by Foals is pretty much the most emotionally charged album ever written with angular quitar hooks and synthesizers. Songs like this feel so subdued but there are so many different noises going on, it's all bubbling under the surface. "There's cracks in our hearts and heads" is a heart-wrenching confession the way Yannis sings it.

58. Astrud Gilberto, How Insensitive
Normally, people who sing or speak like Astrud Gilberto annoy the crap out of me. She has this kind of blasé intonation like she couldn't care less about what's going on around her, but when she sings songs like this, it's like she's protecting herself from getting hurt again and, y'know, I'm a sucker for girls where you can hear they have had their heart shattered.

59. Interpol, Take You On a Cruise
This was one of those songs that I'd never paid attention to but then one night, when I couldn't sleep it really stood out to me. There's a whole genre of songs that are best played at 4.30 AM. The lyrics are quite magical, "I'm timeless like a broken clock and make money like Fred Astaire". Like a 'Piña Colada Song' for the indie kids.

60. Bob Dylan, Lay Lady Lay
There's a reason why this is one of the songs mentioned in Suede's 'These Are the Sad Songs'. When I first heard it, I was thinking, "Brett, you fool, there's Dylan songs ten times more sad!", because the lyrics never struck me as particularly sad. It's the sound of the song, though. Gah, break my heart, why don't you, Bawb.

61. the Associates, The Affectionate Punch
If I could have any unrealistic job I wanted, and if I could sing//had a time-machine, I'd want to be a backing singer in a post-punk band. Amazing. Bands these days don't have enough ass-kicking backing singers, like Talking Heads or, uhm, Wham!.

62. Kasabian, Club Foot
The greatest band around today. All my favourite bands keep breaking up, but Kasabian still deserve that title even if there's not much competition. Another band that has it all, a great image, great songs, a brilliant stage act and two frontmen that could give Mick and Keith a run for their money. This song is a punch to the gut.

63. Kate Bush, Experiment IV
Everything that needs to be said about Kate Bush, gets said in this video. Apparently all the men in the room couldn't look her in the eye because they'd done, uhm, dishonourable things involving Kate Bush during their teenage days. John Lydon's a class act.

64. the Smiths, Half a Person
Oh, Morrissey. Most of the time I just want to punch you in the face these days, but like pretty much everyone else on the planet (who matters, anyways), you and Johnny Marr, Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce got me through my adolescense. Everyone always kind of gets hung up on 'Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me', but 'I Won't Share You' and 'Half A Person' are much better when it comes to the angst-ridden songs. More subtle, anyway.

65. the Passions, I'm In Love with a German Filmstar
The one thing that I really cannot stand about post-punk-ish bands is that their stuff is so bloody difficult to get a hold of! This song is still pretty well-known (largely thanks to the identity parade on 'Nevermind the Buzzcocks'), but the other stuff... I ended up with four songs by the Passions, two of which were by a 1950s soul group. Such a shame, I love Barbara Gogan's voice - she sounds like a post-punk Astrud Gilberto, like she put her heart on lockdown after being hurt one too many times.

66. dEUS, Nothing Really Ends
That line about Martin Sheen ("..like in that movie, you know the one where Martin Sheen waves his arm at the girl") is the bane of my existence. Or, rather, it's one of my favourite lines in a song, ever. It's like this casual thing in a conversation where you can't find the exact word you're looking for, only it's captured in a song for all time.

67. Mansun, the Chad Who Loved Me
Like Strangelove, Mansun are grossly overlooked. They were such an intelligent, interesting and sexy band, it's a shame they're not around anymore.

68. Euros Childs, Costa Rita
"Ice cream sells when it's hot // but it don't sell so well when it's not". Never a truer word spoken. Also, this is probably the cutest love story ever written, about a peanut vendor and an girl selling ice scream on the beach.

69. Roxy Music, Beauty Queen
Oh, if I were only named Valerie instead of Vanina. Sure, I have my darling Wouter Levenbach (aka Dave, whom I worhsip and adore) to sing to me about how he'd walk to earth alone for ever and ever and ever if I wasn't around, but Bryan Ferry leaning on a piano in a white (or powder-blue to match his eyes, I don't care either way) suit.. there's not a lot to top that.

70. Frank Sinatra, Someone to Watch Over Me
Speaking of worshipping and adoring! (See what I did there? I kill myself..). 'Put Your Dreams Away' is actually my favourite Frank-song, but I love how Frank sings "I may not be the guy some girls think of as handsome".. I know Frank was a womaniser and may or may not have beat his women, but at two-thirty in the morning, I like to pretend that Frank was an honourable gentlemen all the way through.

71. the Animals, the Story of Bo Diddley
A song re-telling Bo Diddley's life, including snippets of other songs by the Beatles and the Stones, and Eric Burdon's impersonations of Diddley, his sister and others. Absolutely hilarious, with a riveting chorus and great vocals by Burdon.

72. Bruce Springsteen, Racing in the Street
Man, can I just have my own little Bruce to keep in my back pocket? Night-time conversations in books and films slay me (Hi, S.E. Hinton!) and this whole song, about how Bruce's girl is unhappy and he escapes his own unhappiness through street racing and then he comes home late at night.. Christ, Bruce, what are you trying to do to me?

73. Yazoo, Don't Go
If there was ever a song that would make me want to attempt embarrassing break-dancing moves as if I'm a middle-aged male at an office "do", this would be it. This is perfect pop music - spazzy synthesizers and a lady with one hell of a voice.

74. the Cooper Temple Clause, On. Off. On.
Uhm, well. Why do I like the Cooper Temple Clause? Probably because they sound like a mix of filthy sex, great hair, Red Bull, beer and feedback. This song has the added bonus of involving lyrics about military paraphernalia and that moment at 2.50 is really rather glorious.

75. Otis Redding, A Change Is Gonna Come
Yes, I do so much prefer this to Sam Cooke's original. Otis' version sounds like it's the last song he's ever singing - he gives it his all and it grabs you by the throat. When he sings wails out "I said, "Mother, I'm down on my knees", you can hear how bruised his knees are.

76. the Waterboys, Whole of the Moon
It may just be because the audio levels on my iPod are completely uneven, but this song always grabs my attention, even when I'm half asleep at 3.30AM and I've forgotten to set my iPod on sleep timer. The song just sound so full, brimming over with noise, and the girl singing back-up sounds like the girl at the Roadhouse in 'Twin Peaks', which just goes and adds a whole 'nother eerie quality to the song.

77. Dave Berry, the Crying Game
A male Astrud Gilberto, Dave Berry sounds like he's had his heart ripped from his chest and is trying to go on with life like nothing's happened. I love this song in every incarnation: Dave, Brenda Lee, Boy George and the Associates, which just goes to show how good a song it is.

78. Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Magician's Assistant
'Thou Shalt Always Kill' was a genius indie hit, but really nothing other than one-hit-wonder material.. until you take the time to let their record grow on you. Brilliant lyrics by Scroob and great beats by Dan le Sac.. there's few acts that will make an album with references to Tommy Cooper, Stephen Fry and James Stewart's character in Harvey and then a song like this, about suicide and self-harm. It goes through a whole range of emotions, it's quite an accomplishment.

79. Bernard Butler, the Sea
From the age of 13, up until I was about 18, Bernard Butler was the single most important person in the whole entire universe ever. I worshipped him - listened to People Move On every single day for about three years, bought every record he ever played a note on, bought every record he ever recommended, ran a fan website, and dedicated internet quizzes to his haircuts. I never really liked 'the Sea' all that much, but then years later I heard it at some completely random moment, and it became one of my favourite Bernard Butler-tracks. His voice is raw and awkward and all the more beautiful because of it. And, yes, I will always pick Bernard over Suede.

80. Patrick Swayze, She's Like the Wind
You guys don't even know how much I'm not kidding. Just imagine Patrick, his icky muscle shirt and his fantastically fluffy hair, a gentle breeze blowing through it, and I guarantee you'll be in tears at the end of this (tears of happy or tears of sad, I'm not sure myself).

81. Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, This Guy's In Love With You
Remember when I said that, when at the dentist's office, I like to think of what Muppet a song is most like? Well, sometimes you need a Snuffleupagus of a song.

82. ABC, Poison Arrow
This song has it all, I swear. Funky bassline, a ridiculous synthesizer-jingle, a saxophone, heartbreak and the singer takes some time out to confide in you, the listener, about his love life. Martin Fry was one suave fellow.

83. Suede, God's Gift
It's saddening to think that Suede were once so-fucking-good that they could get away with putting out a song like this as a b-side. B-sides should be a bit shit, really, but this is so utterly gorgeous that I almost hate them for putting a shoddy-quality taping of this song on a b-side. To think that, years later, they put out an album like A New Morning, that contains songs that shouldn't even have been a b-side, let alone a single ('Positivity', hsjkdhfdxfghj).. I still haven't quite recovered.

84. the Arcade Fire, Wake Up
There's been few other bands that have caused such an immediate physical reaction when watching a music video. Goosebumps, jaw on the floor, heart beating, foot tapping. The odd distorted camera effect on 'Rebellion (Lies)', the band dressed up like a handsome band of almost religious outcasts (or like a group of Amish, as John Harris put it) and the song. The intro to 'Wake Up' is simply majestic.

85. A Flock of Seagulls, I Ran (So Far Away)
Yes, yes, once again my love of outrageous hair has gotten the better of me, but this song is actually insanely brilliant. "The song's lyrics address the anxiety associated with getting to know a person one may feel attracted to.", apparently. The guitar is far too catchy.

86. Wim Sonneveld, Het Dorp
It may be a Dutch thing, but there are two Dutch songs that always bring me to my knees: 'Het Dorp' and 'Mijn Opa'. It's all about how the village he grew up in is changing and it must have been writing in the sixties because he goes on about Beatle hair and beat music but there's this line about a dresser with plastic roses.. this song encompasses a typically Dutch time period and it makes me cringe and feel nostalgic at the same time.

87. Tom Tom Club, Wordy Rappinghood
The Tom Tom Club might have been sampled more times than Hall & Oats, which, when you think about it, is pretty epic. In all seriousness, just that first album, Tom Tom Club has been so massively influential on hip hop music, with singles like 'Wordy Rappinghood' and 'Genius of Love' -- to imagine those two songs scrapped, like never written, would leave a huge hole in hip hop history. I miss the French rapping, Kanye should pick that up.

88. Nick Drake, Northern Sky
Hands up who doesn't like Nick Drake! I think it's almost physically impossible to dislike Nick Drake, his songs are like little friendly chirpy birds. Sad birds, sometimes, but still. This is probably his "greatest hit", but thank God, because if a song like this would get ignored, it'd make me lose faith.

89. Kirsty MacColl, As Long As You Hold Me
Kirsty told such beautiful stories with her songs, she was the best storyteller. She's make you laugh, and feel comfort, and she'd make you cry. Her songs were filled with these little lines about really normal things, that made them seem so true. "I always look at the last page of a book" - that's such a normal line and still it goes right through you.

90. Dionne Warwick, Trains and Boats and Planes
Okay, I'll admit that I have a thing about heartbroken girls. Everyone goes on about the Nouvelle Vague breathy girls, I like the Burt Bacharach school of girls who have had their heart bludgeoned. The lyrics to this song are so simple and the first verse is a killer the way Dionne sings it: "Trains and bloats and planes are passing by // They mean a trip to Paris or Rome // For someone else but not for me // The trains and bloats and planes // Took you away from me".

91. Robert Palmer, Looking for Clues
To think that this song was recorded in 1980 just boggles the mind. Robert Palmer is criminally underrated and this record showcases everything that made him such a great artist, it still sounds unbelievably fresh.

92. the Mamas and the Papas, Sing for Your Supper
I'm still reeling from Mackenzie Phillips' confession on 'Oprah', so I'm finding it hard to enjoy the Mamas and the Papas right now, but c'mon, I named my cat after Mama Cass! She has such a power house of a voice, and I don't know, when she goes on about birds and stuff it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. I love Cass.

93. the Stranglers, La Folie
The same album 'Golden Brown' is from, this song is sung entirely in French and is inspired by the Japanese cannibal who killed and ate a Dutch fellow student in Paris in the 1970s.

94. Mellowdrone, Ridealong
Oh, my dear Jonathan Bates. You kind of killed me when you became such a MySpace whore and got a proper band instead of just a drum machine (those were the days!), but still, your wobbly legs are hypnotising. It's a shame you let your very best songs rot away on obscure, out-of-print EPs.

95. Gary Numan, Telekon
What is 'telekon'? I don't know what it means and this song sound suitably weird (I suppose it's what you expect from Gary Numan?). There's something about this song that really gets under your skin, maybe it's the swoopy synthesizer-sample? It boggles my mind that there's people like Gary Numan and Kraftwerk and Delia Derbyshire that are, well, such visionaries. Gary Numan is still relatively normal, compared to Kraftwerk's Mensch-Maschine, and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop (everyone there was like a mad scientist//wizard of sound), but it's all still a mystery to me.

96. Rupert Holmes, Escape (the Pina Colada Song)
Shit, yeah. This is the most novelty of all novelty songs ever written, even more so than Rupert Holmes' other song, 'Timothy', which is apparently about cannibalism? Hurrah. This is about contact ads and making love at midnight, yoga and being "into" health foods and champagne. You can just imagine the pantsuits and shag carpets.

97. Prince, Raspberry Beret
Prince! How great is Prince?! He's a bit mental but I love how this song is like a personal history of a time in his life when he worked at a five-and-dime (his boss was mister Magee). I don't even know what a five-and-dime store is, but the way Prince tells it, is must be the greatest place to meet chicks, because there's a swinging chorus about a girl he met there who wore, yes, a raspberry beret.

98. Kula Shaker, Start All Over
These days it's considered pretty sad to be a huge Kula Shaker fan, but I owe them so much. I listened to the Beatles and bands my brother liked (Cream, Santana, the Byrds) and Hanson before my brother gave me the 'Hush' EP/single for my 11th birthday. They influenced me so much, and this song is one of those songs that will always be perfect - no matter what dodgy things Crispian Mills says in the press.

99. Japan, My New Career
I don't even know what song by Japan to go with because they just had the most mental career. Currently I'm really enjoying re-discovering Gentlemen Take Polaroids, though. To think I liked that album when I was 14 kind of boggles my mind because it's brilliant and complex, there's no way I could have fully appreciated it at that age.

100. Tina Turner, The Best
The perfect song to end this list with, I can just picture everyone's noses turning up in disgust but, fuck, just think about it. If you were so depressed you were ready to jump of a cliff, and this song would come up on the radio.. it'd totally save your life. Not because you think, 'Tina's right; she's a survivor!', but because this seriously is the last song in the world you'd want to off yourself to because it's just every vomit-inducing cliché after the next. Tina, I love you.


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